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Thursday, May 19, 2011

A Simple Thank You


One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone doesn't send a "Thank You" note. Here lately, I've been to lots of baby and bridal showers and sent lots of gifts. But, many of the receivers haven't so much as even sent a "thank you" note.

I just think it's common courtesy to send a note thanking someone for their time and effort to seek out a gift and come, if they can, to your shower/party.

When I got married, I wrote thank you notes immediately after my showers. I had them in the mail within a week. I knew if I didn't do it then, I'd forget or lose the paper with the present and giver.

Now, I know not everyone is as organized and efficient as I am, but I think there's a certain amount of time that you should have to get these notes written. In my opinion, I think a month is long enough.

I also think you should try and personalize your notes instead of just writing "thanks for the gift". You'd be surprised how many times I've gotten this. I mean seriously, you can't take the time to write "thank you for the so-and-so"?

Ever since I was little, my mom wouldn't let me cash a check or keep money until I wrote the giver a thank you note. I hated it at the time, but now I realize how important that was. I hope to continue this tradition with my future children.

Whenever I host a shower, I always play ONE game...
Each guest will write their name and address on an envelope. I draw one or two lucky winners of a Starbucks or Target gift card. I take the envelopes and a stack of thank you cards, wrap it in a pretty bow and I give it to the bride or mother-to-be. Guests and the guest of honor love it.

I'll get off of my soap box now, but this is something that really bothers me. Where do you stand on the "Thank You" note issue?

48 comments:

Neely said...

When I was 4 my mom started making me write thank you notes. Its always been a huge habit. But I agree I hate when people dont send them. I mean I get you are busy but you cant take 4 minutes and write one? MANNERS!

Amanda Leigh said...

Oh it DOES bother me when I never get a thank you note!! I can still name all the people that didnt send me one after their wedding and/or shower! and these weddings were YEARS ago. At least freaking acknowledge the fact that you received it! Good grief!

Allison said...

I completely agree with you, it drives me nuts. After my bridal showers all of my thank you notes were out within the week (partly because we were moving and I had to have it out of the way and partly because if I didn't do it right away I would have never done them).

Last May my husband's cousin got married. We never received a thank you care until February...it was a little ridiculous in my opinion.

Janessa said...

I feel the same way! I think in our day with all the technology people forget how far putting a pen to paper can go. I have always felt this way but even more so lately since I read the book "365 Thank You's" by John Kralik. (I think I spelled that right). It's a good book if you want to check it out.

Suze said...

Oh my word. I definately did this when i was younger, moma made sure my sisters and i knew our manners to the T ! If I didnt get it out in a month or before, i was in the dog house. A month is definately plenty of time to get the thank you note done and personalizing it is something i've always emphasized on too! becuase who wants a gift that says thank you for the gift like an automated message! lol. My dad even is bothered by when brides dont write thank you notes in a timely fashion! that is a great game you play when you host a shower! I may have to steal it if i ever throw one , if thats okay?! Okay im off my soap box too! LOL. :) A simple act of kindness and writing a thank you note can go a long way just as saying yes mam no mam/sir and please and thank you and your welcome ha ha!

Jami said...

I know what you mean! I was the same way you were...when I got married, I immediately sent Thank You notes out. I even had people surprised they got them so soon. I threw a shower for a close friend a few months ago and never received one! I guess I am old fashioned and believe you need to write them!

David and Elizabeth said...

I totally agree. Thank you notes are a must. I can't believe that people don't send them after showers.

Jax @ JaxandMarbles said...

Amen sista! :)

Lindsi said...

Agree, agree, agree!! :) I *always* have guests write their name and address on envelopes at the showers I've thrown--GREAT idea! Speaking of showers, I've thrown many showers where I didn't get a "thank you" card for hosting. It irks me too, sister!

star said...

I agree 100% with you! It bothers me to no end when I don't recieve a thank you note! It is even worse not to get a thank you when you host a party for someone. This happened to me once, I hosted a bridal shower for Timmys sister, spend a small fortune, and didn't get a thank you note. I was furious! I didn't get a thank you for the wedding present either. I don't understand how people think this is okay! I usually send thank you notes within a week! So, yes, I am totally with you on this one!

J and A said...

So agree with you! Love this game idea, gonna do this at the up coming shower I am throwing. Thanks.
I have been to 2 weddings wiht no thank you card. Brutal.
I had all my wedding thank yous done before we left on our honeymoon! A bit anal...but still. Needs to be done!

Amber said...

OMG, I totally agree! I once received a thank you card for a wedding gift that was standardized and printed on computer paper and stapled inside of the actual card. The bride & groom didn't even sign their own names! I was SO annoyed!

Kate said...

I agree completely! I try the best I can to get thank yous out within 2 weeks, a month at the most. Until this birthday party of Rory...I lost the list of what she received from whom! YIKES. I ordered picture thank yous with a sweet note on it to make up for it. Oops!

Kristen said...

I am with you, thank you cards are MUST!

Miss Chelsea said...

Totally agree. Especially nowadays, when it's so easy to just like send an email or something saying thanks. Not the same, hello!?!

We always play that game too!

texas girl said...

I completely agree also parents not re ping to children's birthday party's then an extra 20 kids show up! It's just rude!

Melanie said...

Girl, I completely agree. It is a huge pet peeve.

Another is when you hear people say, I want to send so and so an invitation because they'll send a gift. That is sooo rude. Yes, a shower is to receive gifts, but isn't it more about a celebration???

Natasha said...

i'm pretty sure you know EXACTLY where i stand...i'm locked in my office right now writing away for my bach party, lingerie shower, and monogram shower--i won't let myself put the gifts away or USE them until the note has gone out =)

Mrs. H said...

I'm with you on this one..and I totally agree with personalizing the thank you note wit what the person purchased. That's why you have someoen write down all the gifts that you recieved!

Mateya said...

I totally agree and I also hate getting a generic thank you card that is not personalized at all.

You're right, it's not that hard to add in the note that they actually remember what you gave them.

This is a major pet peeve of mine too!

Jenn @ West Sac Honey said...

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I totally beyond a doubt agree with you. I had one girlfriend who was preggo then got married so we did the baby shower, bridal shower and then wedding party and not ONCE did she send ANY thank you out. AND SHE WAS OUR ROOM MATE!! Like really? I don't know if maybe she sent them out to everyone else and not us because we were her room mates but um no honey everyone needs a thank you. But I'm pretty sure she didn't send any.

I love the card idea it's so simple. I got my hand addressed envelope back one time and was like "Why am I sending myself mail?" lol forgot it was from the previous baby shower I went to!

Kerr said...

I completely agree with you. Thank you notes should be personal and sent within a reasonable amount of time. My mom made me write thank you notes for every birthday and Christmas gift growing up and I still do it. Its just good manners. I am always annoyed when I never receive a thank you note for a wedding or shower gift. If I took the time and spent the money to buy you a gift and attend your party the least you can do is thank me for it!

Your shower idea is great! I am def going to use that next time I host a party. Thanks!

Amber said...

My family is very, very small and I never saw a thank you note or grew up writing one but I knew better for like high school graduation and wrote the few out that I had to, same with college graduation. Now as an adult I get kind of upset when I don't get a thank you card, especially at really big birthday parties or showers...I don't actually get a "thank you" from the person so at the very least I expect a card in the mail, I've been snubbed a few times.

At this point in my life I try to be really careful about it and at the very least will make a phone call to say thank you. I was actually torn recently because I had hosted a party and was like, "Oh, should I have written thank you notes for that???" yikes...

Amber said...

I'm with you on this. It's a small, but very appreciated gesture. I always write out thank you notes, and I know that I certainly love getting them. It shows good manners, and it makes me smile getting them in the mail!

Emily said...

I grew up writing thank you notes when receiving gifts and I plan on instilling that into my children also, my step children and husband don't believe it this and it drives me nuts. Cooper will definitely be writing his notes! Great post, I appreciate you saying what I am constantly thinking!

Becky said...

I absolutely agree! I hate not getting a thank you! I think people should definitely personalize the thank you cards, but at the same time getting A thank you card is better than NO thank you card. Some people are busy - I get it, but I don't think it's too much to ask to spend a few minutes writing out a thank you!

Jocelyn said...

OMG - I'm the same way! I wrote our wedding thank you notes on the plane ride to our honeymoon so when I got done, I just had to stamp them and put them in the mail. Sometimes I wonder if people got the gift if I don't receive a thank you.

Love your idea of having everyone write their name and address on an envelope. I'm hosting a shower in June and totally stealing that idea!!!

JLN said...

I so agree with you!! I always write thank you notes...I even write them for Christmas gifts!! I love getting a hand written note in the mail, so I like to return the favor!!

I've hosted a few parties and not gotten anything - and that's obviously not why I hosted the party, but a CARD would have been nice. I think people just get wrapped up in whatever event it is and forget...great post!

Mr. and Mrs. Smith said...

Definitely! I was the same way - get them over and done with! I think people technically have a year, but that's wayyy too long in my opinion.

McKayla writes a thank you note for every single thing she receives. Grandpa gives her a giant chocolate bunny for Easter? Thank you card. Someone does something extra special for her? Thank you card. Every Christmas and birthday gift, too!

I write them, too. I practice what I preach ;)

Paige said...

oh yeah...it bothers me. I did hear though that you have a whole year to write thank you notes after your wedding...that is acceptable! AHHH! I wrote mine the minute I finished opening them!

I LOVE the game you play. I am filing that away! Thank you notes (and the words please and thank you) are all too often forgotten in today's day! As a teacher, it drives me INSANE to see kids ask for something without even thinking they need to say please or thank you!

I've got your back on this one!

paige

Lauren said...

Wholeheartedly agree with you. It baffles me that someone would think it's ok to NOT send a thank you note, especially when it comes to shower/baby/wedding gifts. Huge pet peeve of mine.

I grew up with Sunday etiquette lessons and my very own copy of Emily Post at age 3... I think everyone should. Maybe I'll start gifting the Emily Post Etiquette book for engagement parties?!

Michelle (michabella) said...

Ugh!!!! Seriously, I dont know what happened to this??? I grew up sending thank you notes for everything, or with phone calls. It means so much to take the time to write them bc the person took their time in getting a gift. My dad always taught me to say thank you at least 3 times, in 3 diff ways if possible (thank you in person, email, phone call, letter) etc.

Glad to see others feel the same :)

Lo @ Not Your Average Southern Belle said...

I love the game idea! I'll have to remember that. Thank you notes are a huge deal to me - my mom made me dictate them to her and just sign my name before I could write them myself! I think they are so necessary, and I hate when parents don't instill this in their kids (or write thank you cards themselves!)

Amanda @ New Adventures said...

Thank you notes are a MUST! I still can't believe people don't get it. I got a christmas card a year after the wedding from a couple and it said Merry Christmas thanks for the gifts.....seriously how generic can you get?!

Chicago Cuisine Critique said...

I couldn't agree with you more. I find it to be really rude.

Marian said...

For my bridal showers, I was on top of the thank-you cards. Not so much for the wedding, but there were more to write that go-around and I didn't want to send any out until I was done with them all. But I agree, even though you don't think people will even notice, we totally do:)

Jessica said...

You are not alone girl! Manners are super important, especially for formal events like showers and weddings.

Jessica said...

You are not alone girl! Manners are super important, especially for formal events like showers and weddings.

~Lindsey said...

I absolutely agree with you, C!! And I can SO see your momma making you write a "thank you" before cashing a birthday check when you were little. She is too cute!

Jessie said...

I couldn't agree more! I was taught by a very young age that you write thank you notes for everything. Period. End of story. However, my husband was taught saying thank you was more than enough. For example if you open a gift in front of some one and say thank you right then, that means that means you don't need to write a thank you note. Completely disagree and I will be teaching Kinley to write thank you notes!!! And in a timely manner!

Molly said...

Totally agree with you girl. I LOVE the idea of you giving the bride or mother to be, the envelopes with the names and addresses already on them. What a wonderful idea! I'm with you on getting the notes out within a week or so. Any longer than that, I think you forget or lose the paper with all the gifts on it. You hit the nail on the head with this post!

Meagan said...

I totally agree with you!!! But now that the baby is here people keep giving us presents and I don't want to buy more thank you cards and it all feels never ending so I've been bad. Shower guests got thank you notes but now I'm over it!

Mrs. S said...

my mama made us write thank you notes before we played with the toys we got for our birthdays and Christmas!! so rude not to!!

Miss Southern Vol said...

I am sooo with you. I send thank you notes for every and anything. Maybe its a southern girl raised right kinda thing? I dont know!! Completely agree

Jen said...

I totally agree, although I have to admit to forgetting a time or two. :/

jacquelyn said...

i think "thank you" notes are just delightful :)

Shelby Bukhenik said...

Just dropped by and Oh em gee do I agree! I have someone who hasn't sent thank you's from their wedding and its been8 months!!! My cousin took 6 months, but they were from her wedding pictures and it was the nicest personalized/long message for everyone!

Seems like a hot topic with everyone too!!

Karli said...

I have a new found appreciation for women who get their thank you notes done while in the middle of planning their wedding, working full time & keeping up a house. It's hard! I wish I could say that I was one of those girls who was quick to get my thank you notes out. To be honest, I had intended to be. Now, almost 2 months after my shower - my Thank you's still haven't been sent. I feel like a horrible person. I have started them though & intend to get them out this week. Although, I still feel guilty that it's taken me 6 weeks to get to them! Bad Bride!

I'm definitely taking the 5-10 a day approach with our wedding gift thank yous. I feel like doing it that way makes the process less daunting.