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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

When Yes Becomes No

One of my resolutions last year was to start saying "yes" more. I was thinking that perhaps I was missing out on something that I might enjoy if I kept saying "no".

Well, I've been doing a lot of this lately. And it's not always a good thing.

Yesterday, I had to step back and tell someone that I could not do something that I previously agreed to do. It is a large task and right now, I'm just not ready to take on that much responsibility. Fortunately, they were very understanding of my circumstances and very considerate about the whole thing.

If you know me, you know I am constantly running around and doing things. But, for this particular event, I had to step back. I need to be more of a follower than a leader at this point. I think I have enough stress on me trying to get back to a "normal" life.

It made me happy that they were so understanding, but I did worry that they wouldn't "like" me anymore or trust me to do anything and follow through next time. I hate not following through with something.

I didn't want to add any stress to my life, but I don't want to be known as the "girl who doesn't follow through". Does this make any sense or am I the only one who struggles with this?


16 comments:

Christina said...

It's a tough situation to be in. I say yes too often, although I'm trying to be better about gauging my abilities for completing a task. I'm sure they'll understand, especially if it's just this time. I'd say try and stay involved if you can and step up the next time when you feel you're ready!

Al said...

Darling - we are totally on the same page. Though I wouldn't consider myself a perpetual people pleaser, I certainly agree to WAY more than I can handle for fear of being thought lazy or incompetent. I love a challenge, and to impress with the ability to juggle a million things. But in truth, we need to concentrate on only doing a few things WELL, instead of a million things poorly. Only do what you can handle and you WANT to do, and all will be ok. I hope things go better, darlin!!

Heather said...

I think that you should only commit to the things that you can give your all. You were probably right to back out on this one!

You have to do what's best for you.

star said...

You're definetely not the only one who struggles with this! I find that I stretch myself too thing sometimes, saying yes, yes, yes to everyone. Sometimes you have have to say no, and hope they understand!

Natasha said...

i always tend to say yes even when i don't necessarily have time for something...definitely a lesson we all need to learn is to take time for US!

Beth Wilson said...

I completely understand where you're coming from. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in everyday life that we forget to take time for ourselves. That leads to more stress, which isn't good for anyone. So glad your friend was understanding about it! :)

Laura@Cowboy Boots said...

i used to feel horrible for saying no...and i was the 'sure' girl.

a few yrs ago i realized...saying no wasn't so hard...and in fact i felt better in the end.

good for you for knowing ur limits

Chicago Cuisine Critique said...

Makes perfect sense. I totally believe in the idea that sometimes you have to be selfish for your own sanity. I'm sure you did what's right for you and sometimes that has to come first. :)

Aly @ Analyze This said...

Makes complete sense to me. I often think that I am a failure if I say no, or like you, that I will no longer be liked. I think this is definitely a "female" thing. It's hard and you have to be so honest and confident in your decision. I'm sure it was the right choice. I hope you can breathe a little easier now :)

Missy said...

I think all women struggle with this. Especially if you are one who tend to be involved in everything. But you are defiantely doing the right thing and need to say no every now and then. I am sure that everyone understand why you need to take a step back at this point in time!

There's No Place Like Memphis Mama said...

Girl I think we all struggle with that! I know I do.

BeckyJo606 said...

I think about this all of the time. I will say yes for something but then feel sooo guilty about not wanting to go. It's the worst feeling! I do think it's important for you to take time for yourself--and for your family!

Leah said...

You and I are one in the same. I can completely relate to this post. Proud of you for saying no.

Lindsi said...

I had to start learning to say "no" too. I was always a "yes" person, and much like you, I found myself running ragged all the time. Between 2010-2011 I'd thrown about 12 showers at our house, which takes time AND money. At this point (especially with all my hormones going on), I feel empowered by saying "no!" I don't think there is anything wrong with setting those personal boundries in your life---you go, girl!

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

Learning to say no to people is hard. I think it's never too good to spread yourself too thin. It's always hard balancing everything.

PaigeR530 said...

I need to learn to say no more. I want to help others, and often feel like it is no big deal to say yes until the task actually comes around and I get overwhelmed. I'm always glad to help, but sometimes I wish I had just had the courage to say no!